For the Love of Lycra

This week in fashion: Out-of-touch mother creates a flash community of outraged Lycra lovers.

I do not know of a single female who does not own at least one pair of leggings.  As athleisure has surpassed trend to become a mainstay in our fashion culture, there has been an explosion of stretchy pants on the market.  Leggings are everywhere—they’re inescapable.  This week, someone’s mom had something to say about it.

Maryann White, mother of four sons, was visiting Notre Dame and attending a mass when she felt visually assaulted by the spandex clad booties of the young ladies in front of her.  Apparently, she was afraid her boys would be inundated by impure thoughts as a result of the fitness wear, thus ensuring their passage to Hell, while simultaneously putting the parents out the tuition.  So, mom wrote a letter.  The now viral letter to the editor at the Catholic university sparked a national conversation over the appropriateness of wearing leggings in public.   

Now, I don’t know that a church lady damning me to hell over my fashion choices would be a deterrent, I actually think it would just be fuel for the fire.  Defiance would encourage me to wear nothing but leggings in protest.  That is exactly what these girls did.  They even created a hash tag to legitimize the movement: #LeggingsDayND.

It’s seems beyond absurd to accommodate this mother’s request.  Does she believe leggings should be outlawed, period?  Would leggings be considered appropriate at the gym, but not at the library?  How would one get from point A to point B?  Teleportation?  Did Apple drop a new product I don’t know about?  If this technology exists, please let me know—I could be saving a lot of money on Lyft.  Teleportation aside, I think our advancement in legging technology is something that we should continue to explore so that no one becomes a victim of sub par leggings.  Poor quality leg coverings are not a good look for any body.

Dressing is so subjective.  To imply that jeans would be a more acceptable and modest choice (as suggested by the agitated Notre Dame mom) would show that someone is not paying much attention to denim trends.  Maybe the girls at the university should have put on some of those cool denim diaper shorts in protest instead.  Or maybe some of those jeans with slashes from crotch to cuff? That would have been neat.  Maybe Maryann White should have been more specific.  Or maybe she should have thought twice before clothes shaming the young ladies trying to cram for bio chem in between mass and yoga.  If the Father can wear a robe, the girls can wear stretch pants.  Join us for tea in the courtyard.  Mass has ended, let us go in peace.