God Save Our Crap

…because you couldn’t save our queen.  Mercury is fully in retrograde and this recent loss proves it.  Dame Vivienne Westwood is dead, leading me to believe the world’s end must truly be approaching (and at rapid pace).  As though the devastating losses of Mugler and Miyake were not enough, this year we were also forced to endure the trend of underwear as pants, whatever that crap was that Katie Holmes wore on the red carpet, and a Kardashian derrière demolishing a prized piece of fashion history. I’m expecting a plague of locusts any time now.

But as we look ahead to the future, let us try to be hopeful.  Let us hope that we will continue along the path of sustainability with regard to fashion.  As we recycle and resell, may we always have a sense of respect for these garments we use to protect our bodies.  For there is no future without the past and there is no resale if you blow chunks all over your Miu Miu ballerinas.

Let us hope in the new year that Gen Z finds their own unique sense of style that doesn’t involve pilfering through the leftovers of their sisters aught.  They say “not all who wander are lost”, but this generation really has me wondering…

As we reign in another year, let us resolve to continue expanding…our minds, our closets, and our bank accounts—because at this rate, the runways will be renting from me.  I will need to rent a separate apartment just to store my winter wardrobe.  Joint custody of me will be split between my Betsey Johnson collection and my boyfriend, with weekend visitation rights to be granted to my brooches and tiaras. At this point I think it wise to fall back on the words of our dearly departed Dame—“Buy less. Choose well.”  But then I am conflicted, as my haughtier half recalls my favorite line from one of my favorite films, delivered by the late Ivana Trump—“Don’t get mad, get everything!”

As we usher in another year—choose well, get everything!

Cheers,

Under the Renfluence